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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?